Be Kind to Yourself… “I Can Hear You!”

Have you ever considered that your own thoughts could be hurting you?

You’ve heard the saying ”you are what you think you are.” DSC_0166 If a friend came to you feeling down because of something they felt they failed at or did wrong, you would comfort them and do your best to make them feel better. You would tell them not to worry, its not your fault, and don’t beat yourself up about it. You would never say, “Oh, you’re right, that was a really dumb thing to do. What a poor choice you made, you deserve to feel bad”.   Yet, we beat ourselves up about all sorts of things, big and small, on a daily basis. So you ate the whole bag of chips when you promised yourself you would just have a handful. Now you’re telling yourself you know what... So, you promised to bake four-dozen homemade cookies for a school fundraiser and ended up buying them instead, because you ran out of time. You tell yourself what a bad mother you are, what a poor planner you are with terrible time management skills. “I just never seem to be able to do anything right.” So, you don’t workout for a week. You start criticizing yourself and your poor body. Look at that roll. Wow, my butt is getting big. No wonder I don’t have a boyfriend. Who would want me? I’m a fat loser! So, you drop a whole bottle of olive oil on your kitchen floor as you’re rushing to get dinner on the table. There’s glass and oil EVERYWHERE! This is a bad one. You yell at yourself! You’re mad at yourself! You tell yourself how clumsy and stupid you are. Now, dinner is going to be even later, because you‘ve got to stop and clean this up. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!!! STOP THE BUS! My calm thoughtful husband always manages to help me put things in perspective by asking me “did anyone lose an arm?” Thankfully, I have always been able to reply “no”! Then, it’s not that bad and not worth getting upset over. Ah, I feel better already.

So why do we have such a hard time being nice to ourselves?

We have great compassion for others. Are we not just as worthy of our own compassion? We put such unreasonable expectations on ourselves, and when we’re not as perfect as we think we should be, or we don’t achieve all that we think we should, or when we think we mess up in some way, we beat ourselves up about it.

I can hear you!

Do you really think your negative thoughts are not affecting you? You can hear them! If you keep telling yourself something long enough, you start to believe it. Those thoughts become part of you. Every cell in your body takes on the energy of your thoughts. Speak nicely to yourself. Just like the critical words of others hurt you, your own critical words hurt you just as much, if not more. We say things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to another human being. So give yourself a break! Fill your mind with positive thoughts, not negative ones. Go ahead; tell yourself how great you truly are! Compliment yourself on that fabulous idea of yours, how infectious your laugh is, how beautiful your eyes are, how strong you are, how kind you are, how creative you are. Thank the universe for giving you so many wonderful talents. Fill your head with positive, kind thoughts and feel the difference. So the next time you catch yourself being mean or critical of yourself, STOP! So what if you mess up! Be kind to yourself! With Love, email_signoff1_name

About Alison

Live Everyday. Here’s to your good health. Whole Foods RULE!

8 comments on “Be Kind to Yourself… “I Can Hear You!”

  1. Alison,
    Thanks for this. It reminded me alot of my good friend and golfing buddy, Campbell Stalker, who was also Scottish. When the weather was particularly bad and we were on the first tee comtemplating if we should play, he would say ” Come on. Let’s play. It’s never as bad as you think it’s going to be”. I often think of him when I am having negative thoughts and realize what he was saying could be good advice for just about anything in life.

    • Dear Isaac,
      How perfect that your Scottish friend had this saying – I love it! I’m so glad that you still think of it from time to time and apply it to other parts of your life too. Thinking positively is the key :) My dad always said “It never rains on the golf course”. Living in Scotland, you had to have this attitude, or you’d never get any practice in! Thanks so much for following my blog…I greatly appreciate your support!

  2. I agree! And although I think a little self-criticism is a good thing (it can be a reality check that moves us forward), there’s a difference between focusing on our limitations instead of the small ways that we might improve. I love this Leonard Cohen quote: “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”

    • Dear Susan,
      You’re right, a “wee” bit can be healthy. I love the quote…it just highlights that it’s all in the way you look at something. Thanks so much for sharing!

  3. Hi Alison,
    Wonderful words of wisdom! I think your blog is really a ‘daily treasure’. We women are great at feeling guilty, and you’re right, it has a very negative effect on our well being. The trouble is, we seem to be able to justify the guilt far too readily so here’s to focussing on the good stuff instead… x

    • Dear Judith,
      Oh, I love that you see my blog as a “daily treasure”. That makes me SO happy! Here’s to way less guilt and much more joy!!!

    • Dear Chris,
      I’m so glad you found my words helpful. Some days we just need to hear the right thing…glad I was there for you.

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