“I’d love to, but I’m afraid I’m just too busy that day, but let’s get a date on the calendar, that does work”. “I’d love to help at the event but I’m already volunteering at a fundraiser that same week”. These things aren’t hard to say and yet somehow or other, when we are in the moment, often these are not the words that come out. We end up saying “Of course, I’d love to help” or “I’ll be there” or “Yes, I’ll host that” or any number of similar answers. We just seem to have a hard time saying “NO”!
Jingle BellsThe holiday season is one of the busiest times of the year for many people. There’s decorating and shopping to be done, baking and cooking. We want to see all our family, friends and colleagues. There are parties and open houses and dinners and on and on. How wonderful it all sounds! However, a couple of weeks at this pace and you may find yourself tired and grumpy before we’re even half way through December, which is not wonderful at all! Of course we want to do as many fun things as possible and if you are good with a hectic pace, go for it! However, for some of us it’s important to set boundaries and save a little time and energy so that we can enjoy the season. I remember the days when I would cram it all in, and be so exhausted by the end of the year that I inevitably started the New Year with a bad cold and sore throat.
My ProposalI don’t want you to think of it in terms of saying “no” to someone or something but instead think of it as saying “yes” to yourself! We all love the word “yes”. It has such a nice soft sound to it. It’s fun to say and good to hear.
When you say “no” to an invitation or obligation that could cause you stress, what you’re really doing is saying, “yes” to you, and you’re worth it!!
“Yes” is More!Saying, “yes” to yourself is like telling yourself how valuable you are. How worthy you are of care and consideration. You’re telling yourself you’re important, and your needs are valid. When you say, “yes” to yourself you’re also setting a good example for your family, friends, and children. People will respect you when you set these boundaries. Lead by example and set the tone for others. When you get through the season with ease and are able to enjoy every moment with your friends or loved ones, and maintain good health and cheer, others will take note. It is not selfish but sensible. What good are you to anyone if you deplete yourself or compromise your own life or health? We naturally want to make others happy (which is a nice thing) but we shouldn’t always do this at the expense of ourselves. You don’t have to always be the one to host the family gathering or make the entire meal. Find ways to share the responsibilities with others. And don’t feel bad about declining an invitation (as lovely it is to receive them) because you have multiple commitments that same week and you need a little time to recharge or to work on your own projects or passions. Unless of course you actually enjoy wrapping presents at 2 a.m.!
Say “yes” to...
your well being
your ideasIf saying, “yes” to someone else compromises your life in some way, then you seriously need to think about saying, “yes” to yourself instead! I spent years saying, “yes” to things and people that didn’t serve me. How did that work out for me? Not so well! I have worked hard at learning to say “yes” to myself instead. It takes practice but I can report that I have gotten rather good at it! Trust me, the more you practice doing it, the easier it gets. You quickly see and feel the difference it makes in your life and then there’s no going back. The power of saying, “yes” to yourself builds and builds. So, get on the “yes” express with me now, and feel the difference for yourself! How are you at saying, “yes” to yourself and your needs? Do you have any tips to share to help us all out as we navigate the holiday season? Please share below, we’d love to hear!